In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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