Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
