I'm really into asian looking animals
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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