he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
