If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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