So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
