My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
