apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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