I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
