is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
