i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize