We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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