This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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