i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize