i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
