if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
