My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
