Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
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I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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