Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
