so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
