Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
