Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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