One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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