So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
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He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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