I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
