seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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