just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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