You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this boner is exhausting
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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