Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dude i'm inner monologue high
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just pee around me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
