i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
