Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
