I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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