She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize