no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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