when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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