ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
