I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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