If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
