Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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