I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
