My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
