YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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