We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
