Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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