you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Alive.
So much puke
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The dick lei will go down in squad history
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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