Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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