I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
