I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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