i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
