you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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