I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
