i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have fence marks all over my body
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
