I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
