just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
