A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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