OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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