I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
