My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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