3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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