dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
