the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
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I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
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Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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