Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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